Kevin Laufenberg

When asked about the characteristics of good pastoral associate, Kevin Laufenberg pretty much describes himself.
     “I think they have to be a good listener,” he said. “And compassionate and have a gentle spirit … and a big smile … and a true love of God!”
     All of those things belong to Laufenberg, who has been the pastoral associate here at St. Bernard for the last five years.
     “And have a good prayer life too,” he added quickly. “I just think you have to have a regular prayer life in this business.”
     Laufenberg has been involved in “this business” since he was a kid. As a member of St. Mary’s of Woodland, he was an altar server, a choir member, the organist -- and the youngest parish council president in the parish’s history. He was 17.
     “Technically, you were supposed to be 18 years of age, but father OKd it,” Laufenberg said. “It was a small parish. You knew everybody and everybody knew you … and the ones that you didn’t know were probably related to you.
     “And there wasn’t a whole lot that you needed to do … I had to run the meetings and set the agenda, but there were no major projects during that time.”
     After the parish council meeting at the church, the council would reconvene at the local tavern, which was owned by a parishioner. “At the time, my dad was also on the council, so I went with him,” he said with a smile.
     Laufenberg credits his parents with his love for the church. “My mom … was always a very, very faithful person. (For) my mom and my dad … church always came first in their life. So I think that provided the foundation.”
     During his sophomore year at Mayville High School, Laufenberg transferred to St. Francis Seminary in Milwaukee. After one year, he decided that the seminary was not for him.
     He graduated from high school in 1979 and went to work for Tab Products in Mayville for about seven years.
     Laufenberg continued to feel a tug toward the priesthood and returned to St. Francis as a seminarian. Again he stayed for about a year. He then decided to finish his degree in theology at Marian College in Fond du Lac.
     After graduation in 1992, Laufenberg returned to St. Francis to work on a master of arts in pastoral theology.
     “Growing up in a small parish I thought the only way that you could work for the parish full time ... was just to become a priest or a nun,” he said. “In the seminary, I was taking classes with all these lay people who were pursuing working for the church in a full-time position … coming from a small parish I never knew anything about lay people working for the church as a career. Everybody just volunteered.”
     Once he received his master’s degree, Laufenberg worked at St. Peter in Beaver Dam for 10 years and at St. Victor in Monroe for 10 years.
     When his mother became ill, he applied for the job here at St. Bernard to be a little closer to her. Unfortunately, she passed away just before he started the job in 2012.
     At St. Bernard, Laufenberg is responsible for marriage preparation, the library, visiting the sick at home or in the hospital, RCIA, adult confirmation, individual religious education preparation, coordinating the ministers for the weekday Masses and assisting Fr. Brian.
     He said the biggest part of his job is visiting the sick and homebound. During these visits, Laufenberg prays with the parishioner and offers Communion. He also coordinates the parish volunteers, who visit with the homebound.
     Laufenberg said his job is never monotonous. “I like that you get to meet at lot of people, and you get to be involved in their lives in a lot of different ways,” he said.
     The hardest part of the job, Laufenberg said, is ministering to parishioners who are dying and their families. “You never know if you are saying the right thing or doing the right thing, but everyone is always grateful. It’s just hard to see that.
     “I’ve been doing it for such a long time, you kind of get a little bit used to that, but it doesn’t make it any easier.”
     Laufenberg said his faith also helps him through these situations. “(It) truly makes it easier ... because of believing so strongly about a better life after death … and not to look at it mournfully, but to look at it joyfully as a changing of life … not an end to it.”
     St. Bernard has been a big change for Laufenberg, because “I’m used to the close-knit small parishes where everyone knows each other,” he said. “Here at St. Bernard even though it’s a large parish … it has a small town feel and a small church feel. The people seem to know each other. There are a lot of people who are related to each other. At the same time, there is a lot of vibrancy because you have a lot of younger families moving into the area.”
     In the future, Laufenberg said he would like to be a parish director running the day-to-day operations for a small parish that does not have a resident priest.
     And if he does ever leave, he said he would miss the parishioners of St. Bernard, who have welcomed him since day one.
     “I hope they will say that I was an effective minister,” he said. “And that … maybe they became closer to God through something that I did when I interacted with them.”
     After his move to Middleton, Laufenberg noticed a lot of familiar names around him. So, he looked into his genealogy and found that his great grandfather was born and raised on a farm just a few miles from where Laufenberg is currently living in Middleton.
     “He later moved up north to a farm in the Black River Falls area, so I know all my relations there,” he said. “But now I know that I’m related to a lot of people around here. I have found a home here.”